Peace

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”  John 16.33

As I sat down to finally write a blog post again, I asked God what to say.  The first word that came to me was peace.  And I immediately smiled.  

This past year has been rough.  Going into my senior year, the stress of trying to figure out what I want to do after I graduate has been almost unbearable.  Plus, losing almost all of my friends last year and dealing with migraines and anxiety attacks... it has been hard not to feel like my world was crashing in around me.  There were days that I wasn't sure I would make it through.  There were days that I wanted to just give up and go to bed, and never come out of my room again.  

I am a huge planner and I am kind of a control freak about my future because planning my life is often the only thing I feel secure about and feel in control of.  But this year, God has continued to show me and remind me over and over again that I need to turn that control over to Him.  To say it has been easy would be the biggest lie I have ever told.  It has been hard.  Not just a one time decision to give up that control and accept whatever He has in store for me.  Instead, it has been an every day decision of surrounding my life and my future to Him, and believing that He has better plans for me than I could even imagine. 

 Somedays I struggled more than others.  There were somedays where I tried to push God out of my mind and hold on to my control with all that was in me.  I thought that holding on to that control would make me happy, that it would make me less stressed because I had the control and I could take care of myself and make plans for myself to do whatever I wanted to do.  But instead, it led to panic attacks, anxiety, and doubt.  Because as much as I wanted to control it, I didn't know what to do.  I felt even more alone and wondered if I would ever be ok again.  

Even through all of my doubts and attempts to push God away, He still stayed right by my side.  And when I finally started to let down the wall that I was trying to push him away with, He was right there, waiting to take me into His arms and remind me of how much He loves me.  When I finally opened my arms and surrendered the control to Him, He took that stress and gave me His peace.  

It was not an easy thing.  In fact, to be completely honest, I was still fighting with Him as I opened my arms.  I tried to make excuses like, "If I give you all control, I won't know what you are going to do.  What if I don't like it?  What if its not what I wanted?"  There were moments when I couldn't even sing the worship songs at church because I knew that my whole heart wasn't ready to give Him all of the control yet.  And there are moments that I still struggle with not trying to pull some of that control back.  But what I am learning is that until we surrender and give Him that control, He can't bless us with all of the things He wants to pour into our lives.  His plans are so much better than what we think our lives should be like.  His greatest joy is blessing His sons and His daughters and giving them the very best.  But unless we are open to Him and willing to give Him control and receive His gifts for us, we can't enjoy all that He has for us. 

It is not a one time surrender of our lives to Him, but a constant surrender through out our day to give him full control over every minute of our day.  And as terrifying as it is to surrender that control, the peace that He will give you is priceless.  Even though we live in a fallen world where things may be hard and nothing may be going the way we want it to, we can still have His peace.  Because no matter how hard the world is, we can rest in the assurance that he has overcome the world.  And that he has a greater plan for our lives, better than we can even imagine.  So we can rest in his peace knowing that through it all, he will be there to catch us when we fall and to hold us through the tough times.  

I know I still struggle with giving that control up.  But I am thankful that I am learning more and more each day to trust Him in every area of my life.  And I pray that you too may find his overwhelming peace and joy that he has for you if you will just surrender your whole life to him.  Not part of your life.  All of it.  Because then you too can trust in knowing that he has a plan and we don't have to worry about it anymore. :)

Today I'm linking up with Holley Girth over at Coffee for Your Heart!  Check out her amazing blog for more encouraging posts!